I Came And Went Back With More

Marc Wagenaar worked in our bar for 2 years. He was the young, charismatic, long-haired Dutch guy. You’re sure to have met him if you were here during that time. He’s just left us, following his dream. On saying goodbye, he wrote us his story:

“I moved to Berlin for two reasons: love and film. Film was more a cover up to go to Berlin because I was in love with somebody for several years and I couldn’t stay in the same city anymore. In Berlin I did some internships covering different aspects of film. 

Lonely, excited, happy, sad… The last three and a half year contained it all. Of course, in the beginning, as with all big decisions you make you think: “What have I done?! Why?!” But I believe that everything happens for a reason. And like Charlie Chaplin says in his great poem ‘When I started loving myself’: 

When I started loving myself

I understood that I’m always and at any given opportunity
in the right place at the right time.
And I understood that all that happens is right –
from then on I could be calm.
Today I know: It’s called TRUST.

After reading this many times I could be calm as well. 

I was looking for a job and found one in a small restaurant. At the same time I applied for job at the Michelberger Hotel. I hoped they would contact me but for two weeks I didn’t hear anything. Then suddenly at the moment I was working in the small restaurant, Tommy called me. Secretly I picked up my phone and this dark rough voice invited me for a interview. And so it happened that after a trial I started working there. At that time I was doing two jobs and then the Berlinale film festival offered me an internship. My boss in the little restaurant told me that if I would choose the internship I shouldn’t come back after. The Michelberger Hotel asked me if I would like to work more afterwards. From this point on everything was clear for me. And I wanted to give the hotel back what they gave me. 

What happened over the next two years is that I worked full-time and that I made 2 short films. All with the money I earned at the hotel. They gave me space to develop myself. We were a family (and still are). When emotions reached a high level because of stress or pressure… the next day you were hugging and laughing again with each other. 

Then on the 1st of January this year it happened to me again. I fell in love. Immediately. I walked straight to him and told him how beautiful he was, something I have never done before. We saw each other every week in Berghain and danced for a while next to each other and that was it. We went for a drink but also that didn’t work out as I had in mind: he had a girlfriend. Suddenly the news came that the Amsterdam film school had selected me for the directing course. Which meant that I had to move to Amsterdam. Suddenly he started to look for contact with me. I was slightly confused. The weeks before I moved, we saw each other often and my whole body was doing weird things. I was so much in love… How was this possible?? That the same thing happened to me before I moved to Berlin! 

Then the day came that I had to move. Sunday morning at 8am. My father was late because he couldn’t turn the car in the parking lot of the hotel. I was slightly irritated. Around 8.30 we started driving. I wished so much that I would see this person again. But that would had been too much of a coincidence… He was in Berghain and he never left to go home. We stopped for a traffic light. One person walked across the street. I couldn’t see so well with my eyes, who this could be. But I recognized his walk! My father started driving again and I screamed: “Stop! Stop!”. I took this chance and jumped out of the car, ran to him and spread my arms around him. “I have to tell you one more thing before I leave, otherwise I might regret it forever.” There was a short moment of silence. I was pulling nervously on a part of his coat. The the words finally came out of my mouth: “I’m very much in love with you!” Meanwhile my father was pushing the horn. I hugged him, and went back to the car. 

I could not imagine a better ending then this. Of course, a kiss… but he wasn’t ready for it yet. At least, this is what I felt. Not yet… 

It all felt like a film. The whole structure. And this was exactly how it felt to me before. Almost too good to be true. Now I realise that this wasn’t the end of a film. It was the end of the series. And there will be more seasons to come… Although I’m not a big fan of series. I hope this will change my opinion about this. The future will show how special our band is. 

Now at last… Three and a half year ago I didn’t know anything about making film. I leave Berlin with 2 short films, a videoclip, the website www.holybirds.com and am I going to study directing at the Amsterdam film school. The Michelberger Hotel always was a second home to me. Something that is extremely important to establish your dream. A place where you can always rely on. A place where people welcome you with open arms. A place where you feel welcome, understood and where you can be yourself. 

I came to Berlin with a broken heart and I leave Berlin with lots of hope. Although I’m going to miss all the whole family, the good food and the coconut water. But of course I will be back soon.”

Here you can see the trailer of one of Marc’s short films, Holy Bird:

During his time here, he also directed this promo for Joel’s solo project Glassmaps. Joel also worked behind our bar!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4Ok5Ydrpsw

Thanks for everything Marc! You have a shining future ahead but in our eyes… you’re already a star!